Change can be difficult to face and often times feel overwhelming. One of the
best ways to deal with all the emotions that come with change is meditation.
Through meditation you allow yourself to be present while all the chaotic
thoughts and emotions come through without actually getting involved. Yes, that
means it isn’t easy, but with practice and patience it will change your
life.
Many years ago, in another life time, I was a very uptight and
angry individual. I allowed others’ emotions and actions to affect me
negatively. After practicing a fifteen minute meditation daily for a year things
suddenly started to shift. Situations that once made my blood boil no longer
even caused a flinch. I ran into a friend about that time, after just five
minutes she looked at me saying, “You’ve changed… a lot. What did you do?”
Meditation was the answer.
Below is a program I put together for students
that wanted to start a meditation practice, but didn’t know how. There are a lot
of things that come up when you consider meditation: where should I meditate,
how should I sit, is it normal to get frustrated, etc. These are all things I
hope will be answered for you, but feel free to comment with any questions you
may have as you start down the meditation practice.
What is Meditation?
Most people
equate meditation with the Buddha, or enlightenment. Though meditation is a big
part of Buddhism, it is not done with the goal of becoming enlightened. In all
reality, meditation alone will never take you to enlightenment because it is
only one tool to that particular path. Much like a needle used to make clothes
cannot do so alone. It must have thread, cloth, and skill.
Meditation is not
just used by Buddhist, but is used in many traditions from Christianity
(Contemplation on God) to Hindus (Mantra Meditation).
Meditation has
even moved beyond the spiritual realm into the medical one. Studies now show how
meditation is a practice, or workout, that retrains the brain. Which means that
those suffering from depression, trauma, pain, etc can begin to retrain their
brain not to attach to those particular ailments. It doesn’t remove the ailment,
but it does lessen it to the point of living a full life with less
pain.
Most of us have experienced meditation spontaneously. Think of a
time when you were maybe walking or washing the dishes and all worries and
excessive thoughts dropped away leaving you feeling calm and in the moment. That
was meditation!
How often do I meditate and
why?
Meditation should be done every day. Just like
anything you are learning in life, it takes practice in order to get better at
it. Practice means you must do it every day and preferably at the same time of
day. In essence, you are creating a habit. So, think of your meditation practice
as a positive habit and give it time to mature. That means give it at least a
month to get established.
We meditate at the same time of day because it
helps to condition the body and mind. Take a moment here: When you get ready in
the morning do you get ready in the same order every day? Do you brush your
teeth before you dress? Or wash your face before you floss? Humans are creatures
of habit.
Where do I
meditate?
It is important to find a space that is quiet
and removed from visual distractions. Your space can be as simple as a corner of
your bedroom to a whole room to itself.
For instance:
Maggie has a
favorite pillow that she has placed in the corner of her bedroom. Alongside it
is a small candle and a warm throw blanket. Her bedroom has no TV or other
visual/audio distractions and is well enough away from the rest of the active
parts of the house to allow her privacy and silence.
Jess has an office
that is used for studying and working in silence, away from any distractions.
Along one side of his office is a small, short table with some of his favorite
calming items: a Buddha statue, incense, meditation beads and a small chime
clock. In front of the table on the floor is his meditation cushion.
Each
time Maggie and Jess walk into their rooms they are reminded of their
meditation. Since it is a positive habit they feel calm just by seeing their
designated spaces and look forward to their meditation time. Sometimes even
adding a quiet meditation to their regular habit when
needed.
Home
Practice
Where: Find a quiet, out of the way
place. Somewhere that can create a sense of calm.
When: Look at
your schedule and see what works best for you, such as mornings or evenings.
This is a daily practice so make sure you find a time that doesn’t conflict with
work, sleep, or family.
How Long: Start with 5 minutes. Most
beginning students find it helpful to set a timer, so they are not wondering how
long they have been there. When the urge to check the timer comes around move
back to your focus of the breath.
How to Sit
Sukhasana
(Easy Cross Legged Pose)Always use supports to prevent low
back pain and knee pain. Meditation is about letting go of the physical body and
drawing inward. If your physical body is in pain then you can never relax and
focus, which defeats the whole purpose.
When sitting never look like
this:
Knees
higher than hips create low back, hip and knee pain within minutes. Also, a
caved in chest causes strain to the upper back and shoulders.
You should
look more like this:
Place
a blanket or pillow under your sit bones. Place one leg in front of the other
(you can always switch them if needed), it is ideal to find one that is most
comfortable in front and keep this as your meditation posture. If knees do not
touch floor place blankets, pillows or towels under to support the legs.
If your knees are higher than your hips then place another prop under
your sit bones. Once you have the legs in place, lean forward with your torso
(this tilts your pelvis forward) reach back and move one butt cheek back and out
and then the other. Now lift your torso directly over the
pelvis.
Supported Virasana (Supported Heroes
Pose)
Start kneeling on the knees, making sure to have
padding (yoga mat or blanket) under the legs. Place a block(s) or folded blanket
between the heels. Sitting back onto your block or blanket make sure that the
support lifts your hips up high enough so there is no strain in the thighs. If
your knees are beginning to ache then you will need more support to lift you
higher.
Once
you have your supports set-up allow your lower half of the body begin to relax.
The pelvis will sit naturally with the spine tall over it. The thighs will
begin to relax into the small stretch which will also let the knees relax and
stretch.
This posture is one that stretches the front of the legs
(thighs, knees, ankles, and feet). As you sit longer in this pose the muscles
over time will lengthen. This takes time so please do not sit longer than the
allotted meditation time. The weight of the body will at first cause the legs to
fall asleep, this is why the supports are important. If you need additional
supports please use them.
Such as:
Folded hand towels behind the
knee to relieve knee pain.
Folded hand towels under the ankles to fill in
the negative space while supporting the neutral ankles.
How to Start
Body
Awareness
In order to draw inward, you must first get the
body comfortable and relaxed. Once you are physically relaxed then you can begin
to notice the support the body creates or spaciousness. This is the sensation
that allows you to release the focus from the body to the meditation
practice.
Close the eyes. Start with the head and spine. Notice how the
head is softly lifted directly over the spine which extends upward from the
pelvis. If you feel strain in the neck notice if your chin is tucked or lifted
up. Try to find a neutral place of the head so there is no neck strain (it may
feel unnatural at first, but will change with time).
Notice your spine,
is there any strain in your upper back or shoulders? If so lean forward and then
far back until you find a neutral place without back strain.
(Note:
strain is different from gentle engagement. Hold your hand out and extend the
fingers straight as much as possible. Feel the strain in the hand? Now
straighten fingers until you are just barely holding them straight. Notice how
soft and supported they feel? That is how your body should feel.)
Your
arms are placed at the legs or pelvis. It is up to your body what is
comfortable. The hands can be palms up, palms down, one hand gently clasped on
the other, etc. The hands can be at your knees (mind you don’t lean your torso
when doing so), the thighs or in your lap where the legs and pelvis
meet.
Legs should be relaxed down toward the floor. Pelvis and low back
should feel expansive and relaxed. If it feels compressed and tight notice if
you need more support or more tilt of the pelvis.
Breath
Awareness
Once the body is settled into its pose begin to
focus your attention, mind, on the inhale and exhale at the tips of your
nostrils. Take time to notice the temperature, the amount of moisture and the
natural pace of the breath. Once you are comfortable here move your awareness to
the lungs. Feel the soft rise and fall of the ribcages. Just noticing how the
physical body begins to relax deeper with each exhale. Like a tight string
slowly losing its tautness.
Once the body feels relaxed, yet supportive,
keep your attention on the breath. Try not to adjust its pace or take control.
Just witness the breath, see its movement and pace. Much like you would watch
the waves of the ocean roll in and out without controlling it.
As you
gently focus on the breath the mind will skip to a thought or emotion. Do not
resist this or analysis this. Just see it and gently come back to the rise and
fall of your breath. Do not let the amount of skipping your mind does bother
you. There is no need to worry about the minds distractions. This is part of the
practice of coming back to the breath. If there were no thoughts then there
would be no meditation. Each time the mind skips, see where it goes, let go and
move back to the breath.
Trouble staying focused on the
breath?
Beginners often times struggle with the focusing.
The realization of how much is going on in the mind hits them and feels
overwhelming. This is natural! Over time as you practice the focus of the breath
will begin to become more natural and will last longer. The amount of times the
mind skips to a thought will become less excessive. Remember, there is no
perfection in meditation. Let go of “Am I doing this right?” and simply be aware
of the patterns (thoughts) of the mind without attaching (thinking through) to
the thoughts. Just allow yourself to soften rather than resist or push the
thought.
Building the Length of
Meditation
How long your practice is ultimately up to you.
Most students start small so not to get frustrated. As you feel able to go
beyond your initial five minutes just add another five minutes to your practice.
I usually recommend only adding five minutes one week at a time though. This
slow progression allows your body the time to open physically to sitting longer
as well as your brain’s muscles to the practice. Once you have practiced a month
you should have a solid 15 minutes for your meditation. Beyond that it is up to
you. Master teachers often tell students that the longer they can commit to the
practice the closer to complete focus they become – begin able to see the
thoughts as a stream at a distance that doesn’t affect the calm focus – pure
awareness.
Remember
Each day will be
different; some will feel easy while others will feel like a struggle through
the whole practice. That is life! The more you just allow yourself to be in the
moment regardless of what your mind attaches to the practice the easier it will
get for you. Above all else, meditation isn’t a goal to complete – it’s a
practice.
How's that
Balance?The most common thing I hear from people
as to why they can't practice yoga is: they have no balance or it is very bad.
My response, then you need yoga in order to change that. Culture likes for us to
imagine we have dainty, pretty feet that just whisk us through life as if we
were Cinderella in her pumpkin carriage. But dainty feet never went through the
torture we put our current day feet through, from pointed toe heels to long
hours standing. Pretty feet, however, can still manage today's needs with the
following wonderful exercises.Toega
Bring
just the big toe down
Relax
the toesAs before with the feetLift just the big toes, keeping the
little toes down
Relax
the toesNow, lift all ten toes againBring just big toe downThen
bring pinky toe downBoth big toe and pink toe are downThree toes in
middle stay lifted
Relax
the toesTipsStart
with one foot, which ever one seems to get it faster. Then work the other one
alone. Eventually they both will work together.Don't be afraid to give
those toes a hand, literally. Sit where you can lean over and use your fingers
to help. Alternate assisting in lifting or holding down. After a week of
assisting, the toes will have that muscle memory!We All Like a Little
SpaceWe just learned with Toega how to strengthen our
feet and toes, now it's time to create a little space and flexibility. This is
something I encourage when you have down time, as it feels really good and can
be done anywhere. Lots of students do it while watching TV. I personally do it
while soaking in the tub. My feet are warm and relaxed and I can give them some
extra care like scrubbing the dead skin off or pampering them with an
exfoliating treatment. Yes, I am a bit girly about my feet, but remember pretty
feet have great balance too!Toe
SpaceStart with the right foot across your left
thigh.Place the left hand to the sole of the foot and bring fingers through
the toes from underneath.This may take some time to work into, so go
slow. If this is really hard, do what you can today and keep trying each day.
They will change!
Once
you can comfortably get those fingers through the toes just rest for a minute
giving them some time to enjoy the space.Now with the fingers still
between the toes, place your palm to the sole of the foot and the fingers on the
top and give a soft hug.
Gently
move the toes toward your shin and away, getting a nice stretch into the top of
the foot.Continue for a few seconds, then rest.
With
fingers still between toes, take your hand in a twisting motion, like opening a
can, from side to side.
Continue
for a few seconds, then rest.Now, spread your fingers wide to open those
toes wider and release the fingers from the toes.Tug-O-ToePlace the first finger
(pointer) and thumb at base of big toe.Gently rub from side-to-side all the
way up to the tip of the toe.Repeat with the other four toes
Now,
start with the big toe again and from base gently pull and slide up toe giving
the toe a pop.Repeat with other toes.
A Round of ApplauseTake each
hand on top and bottom of foot.Softly clap from toes to
heel/ankle.Continue till foot feels warm and relaxed.Now stand on
both feet and notice the difference in the feet. What are you
noticing?Repeat on other foot now!Daily Foot Love
