Meditation - The Key to Change

Change can be difficult to face and often times feel overwhelming. One of the best ways to deal with all the emotions that come with change is meditation. Through meditation you allow yourself to be present while all the chaotic thoughts and emotions come through without actually getting involved. Yes, that means it isn’t easy, but with practice and patience it will change your life.

Many years ago, in another life time, I was a very uptight and angry individual. I allowed others’ emotions and actions to affect me negatively. After practicing a fifteen minute meditation daily for a year things suddenly started to shift. Situations that once made my blood boil no longer even caused a flinch. I ran into a friend about that time, after just five minutes she looked at me saying, “You’ve changed… a lot. What did you do?” Meditation was the answer.

Below is a program I put together for students that wanted to start a meditation practice, but didn’t know how. There are a lot of things that come up when you consider meditation: where should I meditate, how should I sit, is it normal to get frustrated, etc. These are all things I hope will be answered for you, but feel free to comment with any questions you may have as you start down the meditation practice.

What is Meditation?
Most people equate meditation with the Buddha, or enlightenment. Though meditation is a big part of Buddhism, it is not done with the goal of becoming enlightened. In all reality, meditation alone will never take you to enlightenment because it is only one tool to that particular path. Much like a needle used to make clothes cannot do so alone. It must have thread, cloth, and skill.
Meditation is not just used by Buddhist, but is used in many traditions from Christianity (Contemplation on God) to Hindus (Mantra Meditation).

Meditation has even moved beyond the spiritual realm into the medical one. Studies now show how meditation is a practice, or workout, that retrains the brain. Which means that those suffering from depression, trauma, pain, etc can begin to retrain their brain not to attach to those particular ailments. It doesn’t remove the ailment, but it does lessen it to the point of living a full life with less pain.

Most of us have experienced meditation spontaneously. Think of a time when you were maybe walking or washing the dishes and all worries and excessive thoughts dropped away leaving you feeling calm and in the moment. That was meditation!

How often do I meditate and why?
Meditation should be done every day. Just like anything you are learning in life, it takes practice in order to get better at it. Practice means you must do it every day and preferably at the same time of day. In essence, you are creating a habit. So, think of your meditation practice as a positive habit and give it time to mature. That means give it at least a month to get established.

We meditate at the same time of day because it helps to condition the body and mind. Take a moment here: When you get ready in the morning do you get ready in the same order every day? Do you brush your teeth before you dress? Or wash your face before you floss? Humans are creatures of habit.

Where do I meditate?
It is important to find a space that is quiet and removed from visual distractions. Your space can be as simple as a corner of your bedroom to a whole room to itself.

For instance:
Maggie has a favorite pillow that she has placed in the corner of her bedroom. Alongside it is a small candle and a warm throw blanket. Her bedroom has no TV or other visual/audio distractions and is well enough away from the rest of the active parts of the house to allow her privacy and silence.

Jess has an office that is used for studying and working in silence, away from any distractions. Along one side of his office is a small, short table with some of his favorite calming items: a Buddha statue, incense, meditation beads and a small chime clock. In front of the table on the floor is his meditation cushion.

Each time Maggie and Jess walk into their rooms they are reminded of their meditation. Since it is a positive habit they feel calm just by seeing their designated spaces and look forward to their meditation time. Sometimes even adding a quiet meditation to their regular habit when needed.

Home Practice

Where: Find a quiet, out of the way place. Somewhere that can create a sense of calm.

When: Look at your schedule and see what works best for you, such as mornings or evenings. This is a daily practice so make sure you find a time that doesn’t conflict with work, sleep, or family.

How Long: Start with 5 minutes. Most beginning students find it helpful to set a timer, so they are not wondering how long they have been there. When the urge to check the timer comes around move back to your focus of the breath.

How to Sit

Sukhasana (Easy Cross Legged Pose)Always use supports to prevent low back pain and knee pain. Meditation is about letting go of the physical body and drawing inward. If your physical body is in pain then you can never relax and focus, which defeats the whole purpose.

When sitting never look like this:



Knees higher than hips create low back, hip and knee pain within minutes. Also, a caved in chest causes strain to the upper back and shoulders.

You should look more like this:



Place a blanket or pillow under your sit bones. Place one leg in front of the other (you can always switch them if needed), it is ideal to find one that is most comfortable in front and keep this as your meditation posture. If knees do not touch floor place blankets, pillows or towels under to support the legs.

If your knees are higher than your hips then place another prop under your sit bones. Once you have the legs in place, lean forward with your torso (this tilts your pelvis forward) reach back and move one butt cheek back and out and then the other. Now lift your torso directly over the pelvis.

Supported Virasana (Supported Heroes Pose)
Start kneeling on the knees, making sure to have padding (yoga mat or blanket) under the legs. Place a block(s) or folded blanket between the heels. Sitting back onto your block or blanket make sure that the support lifts your hips up high enough so there is no strain in the thighs. If your knees are beginning to ache then you will need more support to lift you higher.



Once you have your supports set-up allow your lower half of the body begin to relax.
The pelvis will sit naturally with the spine tall over it. The thighs will begin to relax into the small stretch which will also let the knees relax and stretch.

This posture is one that stretches the front of the legs (thighs, knees, ankles, and feet). As you sit longer in this pose the muscles over time will lengthen. This takes time so please do not sit longer than the allotted meditation time. The weight of the body will at first cause the legs to fall asleep, this is why the supports are important. If you need additional supports please use them.

Such as:

Folded hand towels behind the knee to relieve knee pain.

Folded hand towels under the ankles to fill in the negative space while supporting the neutral ankles.



How to Start

Body Awareness
In order to draw inward, you must first get the body comfortable and relaxed. Once you are physically relaxed then you can begin to notice the support the body creates or spaciousness. This is the sensation that allows you to release the focus from the body to the meditation practice.

Close the eyes. Start with the head and spine. Notice how the head is softly lifted directly over the spine which extends upward from the pelvis. If you feel strain in the neck notice if your chin is tucked or lifted up. Try to find a neutral place of the head so there is no neck strain (it may feel unnatural at first, but will change with time).

Notice your spine, is there any strain in your upper back or shoulders? If so lean forward and then far back until you find a neutral place without back strain.

(Note: strain is different from gentle engagement. Hold your hand out and extend the fingers straight as much as possible. Feel the strain in the hand? Now straighten fingers until you are just barely holding them straight. Notice how soft and supported they feel? That is how your body should feel.)

Your arms are placed at the legs or pelvis. It is up to your body what is comfortable. The hands can be palms up, palms down, one hand gently clasped on the other, etc. The hands can be at your knees (mind you don’t lean your torso when doing so), the thighs or in your lap where the legs and pelvis meet.

Legs should be relaxed down toward the floor. Pelvis and low back should feel expansive and relaxed. If it feels compressed and tight notice if you need more support or more tilt of the pelvis.

Breath Awareness
Once the body is settled into its pose begin to focus your attention, mind, on the inhale and exhale at the tips of your nostrils. Take time to notice the temperature, the amount of moisture and the natural pace of the breath. Once you are comfortable here move your awareness to the lungs. Feel the soft rise and fall of the ribcages. Just noticing how the physical body begins to relax deeper with each exhale. Like a tight string slowly losing its tautness.

Once the body feels relaxed, yet supportive, keep your attention on the breath. Try not to adjust its pace or take control. Just witness the breath, see its movement and pace. Much like you would watch the waves of the ocean roll in and out without controlling it.

As you gently focus on the breath the mind will skip to a thought or emotion. Do not resist this or analysis this. Just see it and gently come back to the rise and fall of your breath.  Do not let the amount of skipping your mind does bother you. There is no need to worry about the minds distractions. This is part of the practice of coming back to the breath. If there were no thoughts then there would be no meditation. Each time the mind skips, see where it goes, let go and move back to the breath.

Trouble staying focused on the breath?

Beginners often times struggle with the focusing. The realization of how much is going on in the mind hits them and feels overwhelming. This is natural! Over time as you practice the focus of the breath will begin to become more natural and will last longer. The amount of times the mind skips to a thought will become less excessive. Remember, there is no perfection in meditation. Let go of “Am I doing this right?” and simply be aware of the patterns (thoughts) of the mind without attaching (thinking through) to the thoughts. Just allow yourself to soften rather than resist or push the thought.

Building the Length of Meditation
How long your practice is ultimately up to you. Most students start small so not to get frustrated. As you feel able to go beyond your initial five minutes just add another five minutes to your practice. I usually recommend only adding five minutes one week at a time though. This slow progression allows your body the time to open physically to sitting longer as well as your brain’s muscles to the practice. Once you have practiced a month you should have a solid 15 minutes for your meditation. Beyond that it is up to you. Master teachers often tell students that the longer they can commit to the practice the closer to complete focus they become – begin able to see the thoughts as a stream at a distance that doesn’t affect the calm focus – pure awareness.

Remember
Each day will be different; some will feel easy while others will feel like a struggle through the whole practice. That is life! The more you just allow yourself to be in the moment regardless of what your mind attaches to the practice the easier it will get for you. Above all else, meditation isn’t a goal to complete – it’s a practice.